Palika a haven for adult toys

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Saturday, July 5, 2014 at 10:59 PM Labels:

NEW DELHI: It's the worst kept secret in town. If you want to buy a porn CD, all you need to do is stroll into Palika Bazaar — the unofficial porn C
D haven of the Capital — and pick up whatever you like. And now, the market has another claim to fame: it's fast emerging as a centre for smuggled adult toys too.

The moment you enter the underground market and walk close to any of the shops stocking electronic goods & CDs, you are greeted with hushed whispers of "Kya chahiye? Kya chalega? ‘' For the uninitiated, this is the clarion call of porn peddlers who have now added to their repertoire, besides CDs, an assortment of sex toys, most of them smuggled in from China.

Says a regular at the market, "The demand for these toys is quite high and even shops selling clothes and electronic goods have begun to stock them." The range of toys include vibrators and strap-on dildos, which come in different variations, including one with a remote. The hottest selling items, according to a peddler, are inflatable dolls. These dolls, made of latex, can be blown up to the height of an adult female — some even come with removable body parts.

Prices for the toys vary, depending on the customer. For example, the dolls, smuggled in from the US, are priced at Rs 9,000 initially but bargaining can bring the cost down to at least a third of that. And, reportedly, there's no dearth of takers according to a shopkeeper, he sells at least 10-15 of these every month.

The brisk sale of these toys clearly indicates that a huge market exists for them. In India, however, these toys are banned, which begs the question whether such a ban is justified.

Globally, the market for adult toys is massive, valued at approximately $15 billion annually, and growing at the rate of 30%. Sexologists say that the ban in India on these toys is ridiculous, since they are the safest, best and cheapest form of sexual entertainment.

Says Dr Prakash Kothari, professor of sexual medicine at Mumbai's KEM Hospital, "Adult toys are an innocent form of satisfying sexual desires. They also help in facilitating safe sex thus preventing unwanted pregnancies, controlling population growth and spread of HIV." It's an irony, he says, that while the government is ready to distribute free condoms, it is banning sex toys, which help in sex education and promote safe sex. China, incidentally, is the world's largest exporter of sex toys, accounting for 70% of global production. The country's sex toy industry provides employment to millions and is also a major forex earner.

In fact, the use of sex toys in India is nothing new. These toys, according to Kothari, find a mention in Vatsyanana's Kamasutra , where there are references to apadravyas (dildos) and life-size pratimas (wooden figures) being used in the sexual act.

"It's time we shed our pseudo-moralistic attitude," says Kothari. "In our country, the biggest challenge is controlling population and propagating safe sex. If the sex toy industry is helping in doing so and also creates a profitable sector in the economy, why shouldn't it be encouraged and legalised?" he questions.

Till this question is answered, sex toys will probably continue to sell surreptitiously in markets like Palika Bazaar.

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11 more reasons not to marry

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Tuesday, January 7, 2014 at 8:55 AM

In her article “8 reasons straight men don’t want to get married“, Dr. Helen Smith did an excellent job summarizing the popular reasons men say they are postponing or outright declining the many charms and benefits of marriage – well, benefits for gay couples, anyway. With the recent Supreme Court decision dumping the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in favor of gay marriage, we can expect the argument that gay marriage somehow undermines straight marriage will continue to heat up.
In my opinion, this has things completely backwards – straight marriage is so badly and terminally damaged that the expansion of gay marriage will have little impact on the death of heterosexual nuptials – if anything, successful gay marriages will illuminate the many failures of hetero marriage that are causing men to flee from it.
Why is that? I’ve compiled my own, personal list of 11 additional reasons why I avoid marriage, and interestingly, my reasons are largely independent of the 8 reasons identified by Dr. Smith. Some of these reasons are deeply personal to me, but in the hopes that they might resonate with men who are conflicted on the subject of their own marital futures, I offer them up as an additional perspective as to why the single life is preferable:

1. Your wife won’t be able to manipulate you by withholding sex.
While some people (ok, women mostly) treat marriage vows as loose, conditional suggested guidelines, when I make a vow, I’m going to keep it. If it is within the capability of my mind or body, then I am both loyal and stupid enough to believe that a promise is a promise, and that “integrity” includes keeping one’s promises, especially in the face of adversity. So, if I promise fidelity to one woman, by God, the Universe, and Everything, I’m going to keep that promise.
I also have always had a large sex drive – I was hitting on my babysitters when I was 4 years old for goodness sakes. Even now in my mid-50′s the fires of passion still burn hot in me.
The combination of these two factors mean that I would be extremely vulnerable to a wife to wanted to manipulate me by denying sex – I’d have no recourse in law or morality. A man who coerces a woman into sex is viewed as a rapist, but a woman who coerces a man by withholding sex is a feminist hero?
You go, grrl. Out of my house. NOW. And no, I am not going to marry you, *****.

2. You won’t have to lose your vintage porn collection.
My first college girlfriend got me a subscription to Playboy magazine for my birthday in 1978, and although we broke up my senior year, I collected issues of the magazine until the spring of 1992, when my cohabiting girlfriend at that time discovered them and had an extreme screaming meltdown. She kept screaming for hours as I hauled them out to a dumpster. Then, she withheld sex for six months as a punishment for my transgression. I loved her dearly but her jealousy never waned, and eventually I had to break with her, as I was unwilling to live my life in a constant state of sexual starvation.

3. You can drive any car that suits your fancy.
Until I became comfortable with the notion of Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), I often chose my car with an eye toward the sort of woman it might attract. This left me with several expensive, high-maintenance models that looked pretty but didn’t suit me. I didn’t like the cars, either.
I now drive the perfect car for me – a 2004 Prius with moderate hail damage. My Prius is now old enough and ugly enough that it is a total chick-repellent. The hail damage increases the gas mileage to the point where I can drive from Dallas to Chicago on one or two tanks of gas, perfect for the day I become a MGTOW ghost – and, it is whisper-quiet at low speeds, so quiet that later models had to add faux engine noises for safety reasons.
Of course, if you get married, your wife will withhold sex until you buy her a gas-guzzling, planet-killing SUV so that she will feel slightly safer when she totals it. She’ll hate your car, whatever it is you drive.

4. You won’t have to compromise your religious beliefs, or lack thereof.
Although my mixed-up family has deep Catholic/Lutheran roots, I’ve been an atheist since early childhood. I hear no voices in my head, divine or otherwise. Technically, I think I’m actually a non-coherentist agnostic, in that God-talk is largely nonsensical to me, but when you say “agnostic”, many believers (particularly here in the Bible Belt where I live) take that as an invitation to regale you with whatever voodoo is talking in their heads that day. My inaccurate claim to atheism is safer in the sense that it allows me to be written off as a lost cause without having to engage in gobbledygook.
Women, in my experience, are much more “spiritual” than men, in that their overwhelming anxieties drive them to seek comfort and support through faith. I don’t fault them (much) for that, but I sure as hell don’t want to marry it, or compromise my professed faith to placate hers.

5. You won’t have to watch/hold/carry/rebuild her ****ing purse.
Dealing with a woman means being subjected to “female redecoration syndrome” – her constant, endless drive to change both her husband and her environment, and her oblivious dismissal of her man’s reluctance to do stupid things on her behalf. Reasonable things one might be able to work out with a reasonable woman (if such could be found), maybe, but going shoe-shopping with her when she already has a closet full of shoes? No, thank you.

6. You can undertake risky ventures without being undermined by your wife.
8 years ago an artistic entertainment district that I loved was falling on hard times just as my corporate career reached an impasse. So, I dumped my house and job and started my own entertainment business in that district. No woman would have tolerated a man who was as married to my business as I was (and continue to be) – women love commitment until it becomes slightly inconvenient for them. I know this in part because my live-in girlfriend enthusiastically supported my new business venture right up to the point where she bailed out 4 months in.
Now, I can gloat – the district is now thriving and the NYSE-listed corporation I left died in January, and my work has brought me a bit of respect. The girlfriend found a new man, picked up his meth habit, and was in prison when I last checked.

7. Your vacation time is your own.
I dislike vacationing intensely – maybe I’ve got a touch of Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies or some such, but I’m happiest when I’m working steadily and routinely. Vacationing with a wife would be agony for me even if we could agree where to go (no chance of that), and letting a wife vacation without you is marital suicide.

8. You won’t be humiliated in public by someone you loved and trusted.
When withholding sex fails to move you, or maybe she just nuts out one day, but women cannot seem to resist the urge to humiliate their husbands in public, rat on their sex lives, or whatever. Such behavior is a deep betrayal of the trust one should invest in one’s significant other, but I’ve never seen any woman ever be able to maintain the slightest degree of discretion about her husband’s quirks, foibles, or personal secrets.

9. You won’t have to serve as your wife’s proxy thug.
Women love using and testing their men by having them perform acts of violence at their behest – this gives women protection and deniability in the ensuing physical and legal melées. We see echoes of this whenever some feminist idiot wanders in here and demands we do something – anything – to stop rape, or online harassment, or whatever other bug just crawled up her thigh. This damsel-in-distress trope is nothing more than the bullshit manipulation of men; it criminalizes men and robs women of their agency.

10. You won’t suffer the marriage tax penalty – or subsidize her shoe collection.
Marriage is an economic disaster for men – not only in divorce, alimony and child support, but also in a happy marriage. Women rarely deign to marry impoverished men, or even men who earn less than they do. This means that those “lucky” married men suffer double-extra taxation – not only will your wife burn though your money, but the federal tax structure (in the US, anyway) is generally higher for the married than for two single people.

11. You won’t have to suffer her physical assaults on you.
The current feminist culture supports the right of women to physically assault men at any time for any reason. There may be good explanations for this from evolutionary psychology – women hit men when men show some emotional weakness as a way to get them to “man up” in the face of the woman’s need for a strong protector. Men are shamed and discouraged from reporting these assaults, and state and federal laws driven by the Duluth Model of gender violence often result in the arrest of battered men, rather than the women who attacked them.

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Supreme Court pronounces gay sex illegal

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Wednesday, December 11, 2013 at 7:31 AM Labels: ,

NEW DELHI: The Supreme Court on Wednesday set aside the decision of the Delhi high court, which had, in 2009, decriminalised gay sex.
 
A bench of Justice G S Singhvi and S J Mukhopadhaya had reserved judgment on March 27 last year on a bunch of petitions, many arguing in support and some against the HC verdict, after hearing arguments on a day-to-day basis for over a month.
 
The judgment, coming after nearly a year and nine months of remaining reserved, is the last one to be pronounced by Justice Singhvi, who retires on Wednesday (11-12-13).
 
While pleading for decriminalisation of gay sex, the Centre had subsequently told the court that the anti-gay law in the country had resulted from British colonialism and the Indian society was much more tolerant towards homosexuality.
 
The Delhi high court had on July 2, in 2009 decriminalised gay sex as provided in Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) and had ruled that sex between two consenting adults in private would not be an offence.
 
Section 377 (unnatural offences) of the IPC makes gay sex a criminal offence entailing punishment up to life term.
 
Those in favour of the Delhi HC verdict and those opposed to it are divided on religious considerations. While liberal organizations, including NGOs advocating LGBT rights, are supporting the HC decision, those opposed to it are mainly from religious groups belonging to Hindu, Muslim and Christian communities.
 
Those who challenged the Delhi HC verdict, which came on a petition filed by NGO 'Naz Foundation', included BJP leader B P Singhal, All India Muslim Personal Law Board, Utkal Christian Council and Apostolic Churches Alliance.
 
The Delhi Commission for Protection of Child Rights, Tamil Nadu Muslim Munn Kazhagam, astrologer Suresh Kumar Kaushal and yoga guru Ramdev have also opposed the verdict.

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7 global sex facts

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Thursday, November 10, 2011 at 11:33 PM Labels: ,

Sex tax, Germany

We’ve all heard the snappy, hard-hitting phrase “sex sells”. It would seem that the officials in the German city of Bonn have taken this phrase to a whole new level. They have installed a meter in the city to tax their 200 prostitutes. The fee is six Euros and is expected to earn 200,000 Euros per year. You even get a receipt.

The land of the fertile, Russia

Although in a recent survey the Russians were reported as being the least happy with their sex lives (along with the Fins), one woman in Russia holds the world record for having birthed the most children. This fertile lady gave birth 69 times, having 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets. Where did she find the time?

Sex toys banned, America

In a global survey Jennifer Lopez won the crown of being the world’s sexiest woman. Halle Berry and Britney Spears were joint third. Despite producing three of the most beautiful women in the world, parts of America seems decidedly prudish. For example, the state of Alabama has banned the sale of any items that are intended to give sexual stimulation.

Body sushi, Japan

If your two favourite things are eating and sex, then body sushi is for you. This Japanese tradition uses the naked body as a serving plate. The models are typically female. They are trained to lie still for hours, whilst food is eaten from their bodies. Sometimes the women will be painted or decorated too. The idea is based around the belief that sushi should delight.

Who has the most sex, global

According to a recent survey, Americans appear to have the most sex at 132 times a year. The Russian’s come a close second, with the average Russian having sex 122 times a year. In third place is the French at 121 and in fourth position is the Greeks at 115. However, the three countries with the lowest sexual frequency were Japan, Malaysia and China.

Sexual energy, China
Taoism is an ancient tradition that is steeped in Chinese customs and beliefs. Taoist’s believe sexual energy is life-enhancing and so they try to retain it. For males, one way to retain sexual energy is to prevent ejaculation. Some Taoist’s also encourage men to have many sexual partners; in order to access the beneficial energy released by women during sex.

Biggest orgy, Japan

On the 15th of March an annual fertility festival is held in Japan, where the penis is celebrated and revered. With the Japanese being such public fans of the penis, it is no shock that it is they who hold the world record for having the biggest orgy ever. 250 Japanese men and 250 Japanese women had sex in a warehouse at the same time. They’ve even released a DVD.

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8 Super Hot Foreplay Techniques To Please A Woman During Lovemaking

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Wednesday, November 2, 2011 at 10:43 PM Labels:

Sexual pleasure is important for both the partners to strengthen the bond and relationship between them. For many, foreplay is as essential as the act of sex for experiencing pleasure. It is the stimulation that takes place before the sexual intercourse. In a way, it prepares the mind and body for sexual stimulation and orgasm.

It is required to know the foreplay techniques to please a woman during lovemaking because women in particular like foreplay and can't get enough of it. If done the right way you will leave your woman craving for you more and give her immense sexual pleasure.

There are different ways and foreplay techniques to please a woman during lovemaking. The body has nerve endings on different parts which transmit the sensations caused by touch, to the brains. These receptors are present densely on parts like the lips, male organ, clitoris, nipples and soles of the feet. They are called erogenous zones. It is desirable to recognize the zone which stimulates your woman the most.

Whereas men are aroused more visually, women get aroused more by what they feel or hear. Some find light touching also very stimulating while some prefer massages and kissing. Women like to have their necks kissed, fingers stroked or suckled. Some may find nibbling at the ear very arousing. Various foreplay techniques to please a woman during lovemaking are as follows:

1. Kissing: Kissing, for many is the first step of foreplay. Some are satisfied with light lip to lip kisses, while some prefer deeper kisses. Kissing is an intimate act because of the close contact. Kissing or oral stimulation at the clitoris in women can be a pleasurable experience since this is a sensitive area.

2. Massage: One can have a sensual massage as a foreplay technique. Massage the woman’s sensitive parts with or without some lubrication. This will heighten the woman's sexual senses. Use these foreplay techniques to please a woman.

3. Bath: Bathe together under a shower giving the woman a back scrub or get into a bath tub together and clean her.

4. Undress Slowly: Right from undressing the woman, start slow. Slowly take off her clothes and explore her body with your hands and lips.

5. Awareness: Be aware of what your woman enjoys and responds to. Notice her breathing pattern which can help you recognize what arouses her the most.

6. Stroking: Many do not know the power of gentle stroking. Being gentle in your touch and stroking a woman's fingers, toes or breasts or other parts of her body can arouse her.

7. Fantasy: It is important to connect with your partner and know of her fantasies. You can enact her fantasy and take her to a high level of arousal.

8. Vaginal tightening pills: Aabab tablets work superbly in enhancing sensation and excitement during penetration. It gives natural tightening experience and adds pleasure and fun during the whole lovemaking act.

One has to let go of the inhibitions and communicate with the partner about her desires and fantasies. The partner can satisfy these fantasies in order to stimulate and give pleasure. With open discussions, trust and the willingness to please each other, one can fully enjoy the foreplay techniques and the sexual intercourse. Foreplay builds up the anticipation and therefore results in the woman longing for more and in better orgasms.

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20 Things Men Don’t Know About Women

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Tuesday, November 1, 2011 at 12:13 AM Labels:

A friend of mine, a guy who used to occasionally step out on his woman and hook up with other girls, had the strangest theory about the female species.

“Women don’t cheat,” he told me, when I asked if he was ever worried she was doing the same thing to him. “It’s just not in their nature.” I just laughed. Of course, I was not at all surprised when he found out she’d been two-timing him for most of their relationship after their inevitable breakup, but he was completely shocked.

There are of course many things that men don’t know about women, mainly because we don’t want them to know, and so we try and keep them hidden really well. But during my two and a half years of interviewing countless ladies for Maxim‘s sex section, I discovered that there are many, many more things that we ladies keep hidden from men …

When you’re not around, we fart. The longer, the louder and the stinker, the more enjoyable.

  1. As soon as we are alone in the house—husband leaves for the office, kids go to school, roommate goes out of town—and we have quality free time knowing no one is going to walk in on us, we masturbate. Sometimes we even just do it if you’re still in the house if that quality free time is never going to come. Usually, it’s while we’re in the bathroom.
  2. A good majority of us prefer to pee outside. And in the shower. And sometimes we really just want to do it in the hot tub, but we try to not do that one out of respect for everyone else in there.
  3. We pluck stray hairs from our toes, our chin, our lips, moles on the backs of our legs and our nipples. And we really, really enjoy plucking a stubborn ingrown hair. Getting that sucker out is, for some gross reason, such sweet satisfaction.
  4. When we’re in love, we smell your clothes or the pillow you were sleeping on when you’re not around. If you were to catch us doing this, we’d be mortified.
  5. We’ve all wished that we could be more open and casual about sex from time to time … maybe go to a swingers party, have a threesome or be a dirty stripper for a night, but with no emotional consequences.
  6. Deep down we really hope that your guy friends secretly want to sleep with us, and very often we will dress for them and subtly flirt just so they will. We don’t want to bone them; we just want them to want us.
  7. We are not insulted in the slightest by those catcalls from construction workers, as long as they aren’t rude or nasty. It’s kind of flattering. We also like it when you get a little jealous, to a degree. Not in an irrational or psycho way, just a bit to show you’re protective and you care.
  8. We regularly check in on what our exes are up to via Facebook, emails or texts. As long as we have the technology, they will never be fully out of our lives or minds. This doesn’t mean we still love them; we’re just curious.
  9. When we have girls’ nights, we do bad things that you wouldn’t approve of like spill all of your embarrassing secrets, sneak cigarettes or other substances, and drink way more than we let on. Grinding with strangers at a club can also sometimes occur.
  10. When you’re not around, we fart. The longer, the louder and the stinkier, the more enjoyable.
  11. If you’re really hot or the sex is good, you can be a total idiot and we’ll still date you for a while. But we’ll never marry you. Brains and kindness will always trump sexiness when it comes to marriage material.
  12. A lot of times we really like to have sex on the first date to determine whether the chemistry is there and we should have another date. Or sometimes we’re just plain horny and want to get laid. We hate being judged for it.
  13. We hate waxing our privates. Hate it, hate it, hate it. But, we like that when it’s cleaned up you go down on us more readily. In a perfect world, you would go down on us with regularity on naturally poofy pubes.
  14. When a guy says he doesn’t want kids, it’s really a dealbreaker for almost every woman who is still of child-bearing years.
  15. The majority of us don’t really care about how much money you have or make as long as you are kind and emotionally generous and work hard. Laziness and lack of motivation is inherently unsexy.
  16. A lot of us are fakers … when it comes to our love of sports and being outdoorsy.
  17. We love flaws on guys. A little belly, gray hairs, even a receding hairline. It reminds us that we all have body issues and that we shouldn’t be so insecure or hard on ourselves. Being human is cool. But being whiny about your paunch or constantly fussing over your gray temples is as annoying as us always asking, “Does this make me look fat?”
  18. During sex, we’re usually thinking about something other than you. A gross and pervy situation, another man, being dominated … who knows, but we always, always fantasize. It doesn’t mean we’re not sexually attracted to you, we just need the weird mental images to get us off.
  19. We don’t consider drunk kissing cheating, as long as we’re the ones doing the drunk kissing. We consider sex with another man cheating.
  20. We cherish our independence and “me” time more than you’ll ever know. We say we miss you, but are often secretly glad you’re going so we can just totally relax and be ourselves. But we still love it when you come back.

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Make your First Night Memorable

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Monday, September 19, 2011 at 7:46 PM Labels:

A little anxiety coupled with moments of anticipation and finally some wild thoughts, the perfect first night experience is often sprinkled with moments of coy reservation!


Most couples nurse nervous speculations and deep seated performance anxiety about their first night of closeness. Hearsay from newly wed friends or common beliefs picked up from random sources add to the sexual tension. Knowing the exact way to get it right is an arduous task and if gone wrong, you may end up facing a catastrophic situation in your bedroom with your first nuptial boo-boos.

We spoke to some couples to know the common blunders they made (inadvertently) on their first night. Of course, it wasn't just about 'sex' on the first night, as there were numerous other problems which could ruin the first night craze...

Boo-boo: A moment in haste and its all waste
Without much knowledge about sex, couples encountered awkward situations like premature ejaculation for men or women getting overtly apprehensive about ******l pain and hymen bleeding. Fear is the biggest factor affecting performance on the first night.

Top Tip: Make the act more pleasurable
No person is a master sex performer, so indulge in a prolonged foreplay session to make your first night a tender bonding experience. Even if things go wrong, stay calm and try again after some time. Sometimes the wedding stress and the discomfort of an all new environment takes a mental toll. The body and mind may not be fully open for the experience of sexual discovery. Being patient is key.

Boo-boo: Experiments can wait
Agreed that it's your first time with your partner, but don't get overtly excited. Couples are all geared up to try new acts in bed, but first try and figure out your partner's comfort quotient.

Top Tip: Every night is a first night
Don't think that the first night is your 'one and only' chance to make love passionately, with time your bond will grow even more special with your better half. The first night is just the beginning of pleasures. Don't fret and waste it in performance anxiety!

Boo-boo: Look sexy in tradition
It's believed that a bride must remain in her wedding outfit and let the husband come and lift up the veil (‘ghoongat’). But modern day brides aren't too interested in donning the ostentatious outfit for too long and the minute they enter the bedroom; they prefer to undress into a sexy lingerie/night gown. Now, no matter how sensuous your night gown maybe, it doesn't have the same charm as a wedding ensemble. This fashion faux pas forms a lesser known, but common goof-up for brides.

Top Tip: Gifts Galore
As the husband lifts up the veil of the bride's wedding outfit, she's entitled to a surprise gift (for 'mooh dikhayee'). Rings, pendants, necklaces are passé; think of something out-of-the-blue, maybe a romantic honeymoon package, which she would be least expecting or a glamorous outfit, a transparent, hot dress, which you'd like her to get clad in just for your eyes.

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Porn is Good or Bad?

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Monday, April 12, 2010 at 7:17 PM Labels:



Porn is Good or Bad?

Over the years, many scientists have investigated the link between pornography (considered legal under the First Amendment in the United States unless judged “obscene”) and sex crimes and attitudes towards women. And in every region investigated, researchers have found that as pornography has increased in availability, sex crimes have either decreased or not increased.

While that is far from a ringing endorsement, it does at least seem to indicate that pornography isn't contributing to sex crimes. While some naysayers may point out that most offenders in prison have been exposed to porn, the fact of the matter is that nearly every male -- and a good number of females -- is exposed to pornography at some point. It stands to reason that most offenders have viewed porn. But other studies found that being punished for porn use might contribute to someone becoming a rapist, and not the porn use itself. Indeed, continues The Scientist, a repressive religious upbringing might be more of a factor in rape than porn:

Looking closer, Michael Goldstein and Harold Kant found that rapists were more likely than nonrapists in the prison population to have been punished for looking at pornography while a youngster, while other research has shown that incarcerated nonrapists had seen more pornography, and seen it at an earlier age, than rapists. What does correlate highly with sex offense is a strict, repressive religious upbringing. Richard Green too has reported that both rapists and child molesters use less pornography than a control group of “normal” males.

This sort of assertion is bound to raise a few eyebrows and even cause a little controversy. Especially when taken alongside studies that seem to indicate that porn doesn't result in feelings of misogyny. Additionally, while there is anecdotal evidence that porn users are abusive toward their female partners, there is no evidence that pornography use is the cause of these actions. Perhaps there are other factors, such as alcoholism or violent tendencies, that are bigger influences.

In any case, while such studies do not prove that porn is actively good for society

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It's official: Men are obsessed with sex

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Friday, April 9, 2010 at 7:22 PM Labels:



Expert Dr Louann Brizendine has dived inside a man's mind and confirmed what most women long suspected: men are obsessed with sex, hide their emotions, and cheat. According to Brizendine, testosterone causes the 'man trance', where blokes have to stare at ****s, reports The Daily Star. She says: "The best advice I have for women is make peace with the male brain. Let men be men."

Some of the other findings in the expert's new book Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding Of How Men And Boys Think are:

1. Men really are sex-crazed: The brain's part inked to sexual pursuit is two-and-a-half times larger in males than females.


2. They're programmed to perv: The testosterone drives what Louann calls the 'man trance' -- a glazed-eye stare at breasts. She says: "I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't."

3. Men want more partners: According to the book, men want an average of 14 sexual partners in their lifetime. Women want one or two. Louann says: "It's postcoital narcolepsy. During orgasm, males release a huge amount of oxytocin in their brains, and it is very sedating. It's not that he doesn't love you."

4. Men lie more about sex: Biologically speaking, men are more comfortable lying to the opposite sex.

5. Foreplay round the clock: In case of women, foreplay is everything that happens in the 24 hours before intercourse. For men it's what happens three minutes before entry Louann says: "The male brain's initial emotional reaction can be stronger than the female. But within 2.5 seconds his face changes to hide the emotion, or even reverse it." The expert doesn't reckon her book justifies bad behaviour. She says: "This is not giving men an excuse to rape and pillage. But men do have a right to give voice to their biological predisposition and have it come in to the dialogue."

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Sexual Health: Masturbation - Is Masturbation Normal !?

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Tuesday, April 6, 2010 at 8:07 PM Labels:



Your Guide to Masturbation

Masturbation is the self-stimulation of the genitals to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm (sexual climax). It is commonly done by touching, stroking or massaging the penis or clitoris until an orgasm is achieved. Some women also use stimulation of the vagina to masturbate or use "sex toys," such as a vibrator.

Who Masturbates?

Just about everybody. Masturbation is a very common behavior, even among people who have sexual relations with a partner. In one national study, 95% of males and 89% of females reported that they have masturbated. Masturbation is the first sexual act experienced by most males and females. In young children, masturbation is a normal part of the growing child's exploration of his or her body. Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood, and many do so throughout their lives.

Why Do People Masturbate?

In addition to feeling good, masturbation is a good way of relieving the sexual tension that can build up over time, especially for people without partners or whose partners are not willing or available for sex. Masturbation also is a safe sexual alternative for people who wish to avoid pregnancy and the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases. It also is necessary when a man must give a semen sample for infertility testing or for sperm donation. When sexual dysfunction is present in an adult, masturbation may be prescribed by a sex therapist to allow a person to experience an orgasm (often in women) or to delay its arrival (often in men).

Is Masturbation Normal?

While it once was regarded as a perversion and a sign of a mental problem, masturbation now is regarded as a normal, healthy sexual activity that is pleasant, fulfilling, acceptable and safe. It is a good way to experience sexual pleasure and can be done throughout life.
Masturbation is only considered a problem when it inhibits sexual activity with a partner, is done in public, or causes significant distress to the person. It may cause distress if it is done compulsively and/or interferes with daily life and activities.

Is Masturbation Harmful?

In general, the medical community considers masturbation to be a natural and harmless expression of sexuality for both men and women. It does not cause any physical injury or harm to the body, and can be performed in moderation throughout a person's lifetime as a part of normal sexual behavior. Some cultures and religions oppose the use of masturbation or even label it as sinful. This can lead to guilt or shame about the behavior.
Some experts suggest that masturbation can actually improve sexual health and relationships. By exploring your own body through masturbation, you can determine what is erotically pleasing to you and can share this with your partner. Some partners use mutual masturbation to discover techniques for a more satisfying sexual relationship and to add to their mutual intimacy.

Reviewed by the doctors at The Cleveland Clinic Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology

What is Over Masturbation?

First things first. The vast majority of masturbation is completely healthy and positive. There is no data for this, but anything approximating "over masturbation" is very rare. There is no number or quantity of masturbation that is healthy or unhealthy. Masturbation isn’t like candy or eggs, there isn’t a "recommended daily allowance", it means different things to different people, and we all use masturbation differently, in positive and negative ways. So this question needs to be answered on an individual basis, keeping in mind that very few of us actually masturbate in ways that are harmful to ourselves.

If I am over masturbating, will I have to stop masturbating altogether?

No credible health care professional who is working in your best interest would ever tell you to stop masturbating forever. A healthy sexual life includes masturbation across the lifespan, and stopping for a week or two doesn’t mean you have to stop forever. If you feel like your masturbation is a problem you may want to take a break from masturbating for a while and take some time to think about what is going on for you. But you should never feel like taking a break means dropping masturbation from your sexual repertoire. If someone tells you that masturbating is wrong or you need to stop it, they are probably doing so in their own interests, not yours.

Feeling guilty about masturbation is not necessarily a sign of over masturbating.

Many of us are raised with negative messages about our bodies, sex, and specifically masturbation. We respond by feeling guilty when we masturbate. But masturbation is healthy and guilt is not a required part of it. As you go through the questions below it’s important to know that feeling guilty about masturbation doesn’t mean you’re doing it too much. Guilt is a normal response to being told bad things about masturbation. The solution in this case is not to stop masturbating (although you might chose to take a break while working things out), the solution is to deal with your feelings of guilt, to recognize them as unnecessary, and to work towards feeling good about your ability to give yourself pleasure and knowing that masturbation is a part of sexual health.

Is your masturbation causing you distress?

Like any behavior, we can use masturbation for avoidance, as a form of risk taking, or as a way of pushing our own boundaries outside of our comfort zone. If you find yourself consistently feeling bad about your masturbation, either after you’ve masturbated, or when you think about it, then you may want to take a break and figure out why. By distress I don’t mean feeling guilty, as this can be a very normal response for those of us raised with negative messages about masturbation, and surrounded by so many myths about masturbation . But if the amount your masturbating is causing you distress of any other kind, it’s worth figuring out what the problem might be.

Is your masturbation causing (unwanted) physical pain or damage?

If you are masturbating to the point of rubbing your skin raw, or causing any other physical pain or damage that you don’t want, you maybe over masturbating, or masturbating the wrong way. There may be a simple or complicated solution to this (simple being something like using a personal lubricant, complicated being something that involves therapy and more introspection). But if masturbation is resulting in physical pain or discomfort it may be a good time to take a break and figure out what’s going wrong.

Is your masturbation getting in the way of your life in unwanted ways?

You may be over masturbating if you aren’t finding time to work, go to school, and see family and friends because of your masturbation frequency. Here’s an example where masturbating once a day may be perfectly healthy and fine for one person, as they do it when it works best and doesn’t interfere with other parts of their life that are important. But if you’re masturbating once a day exactly at the time you need to be at an important obligation, there might be something more going on. If the rest of your life is being consistently disrupted by your masturbation, it may be a situation where you are over masturbating.

Do you find yourself literally unable to stop masturbating?

While there is nothing inherently harmful or dangerous about masturbation, it can become a compulsion or a focus of an obsession. If you feel compelled to masturbate and truly feel unable to stop masturbating, it is likely that you are over masturbating and need to find some support to explore what’s going on that is compelling you to masturbate so frequently. In situations like this it may not make sense to stop masturbating cold turkey, but might be better to find some supports (family, friends, professionals) before you start to change your masturbation behaviors.

Resources for people who think they may be engaging in chronic masturbation.

Finding a resource depends on where you live, what sort of health care you have, and how involved you want to get in exploring your feelings. If you have access to free sexual counseling services (through an organization like Planned Parenthood or your school) that may be enough. If you have a friend you can trust you may want to talk with them.

Be aware that there are many religious groups and organizations that consider all masturbation to be unhealthy and can take advantage of people who are looking for genuine answers by imposing their own morality at a time of vulnerability.

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4 Sexy Date Night Perfumes

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , at 7:21 PM Labels:


Victoria's Secret Very Sexy

Great for: A night in.

Wear it with: Your favorite lingerie...or
nothing at all. Lingerie Men Love

If anyone knows sexy, it's Victoria's Secret. This fragrance is a classic, with a floral, oriental blend of vanilla orchid, clementine, musk and white amber. Invite him over for dinner at your place and set the mood with a few spritzes of Very Sexy behind the ears and anywhere else you want him to get close.


Clinique Happy

Great for: The first date. First Date Dos and Don'ts

Wear it with: Your go-to first date outfit, whether it's a cocktail dress or skinny jeans and v-neck top—this perfume is a chameleon.

The fragrance equivalent of "what, this old thing? Just something I threw on!"—Clinique Happy is light and flirty without being overpowering or too sexy. The perfect accessory for a new guy on your arm, the crisp scent is a multilayered, modern blend of grapefruit, boysenberry bush flower, and Hawaiian wedding flower.


Marc Jacobs Lola

Great for: An all-nighter.

Wear it with: Your slinkiest picture-me-naked dress.

It'll be love at first sight...and smell. This gorgeous perfume bottle can stay put on your dresser, because this scent will last all night—and until morning, if he's lucky. A floral, fruity mix of pear and ruby red grapefruit, with floral midnotes of rose, fuschia peony, and geranium, Marc Jacobs Lola is the scent that keeps on giving. Save this one for something—and someone—special, and spritz it on before a long night out on the town. Romance On A Budget


DKNY Be Delicious

Great for: Dinner over candlelight.

Wear it with: Your signature little black dress. Dress Your Way to Better Sex

He won't be able to get enough of you wearing DKNY Be Delicious. The fresh, citrus fragrance smells fresh but sensual, a blend of grapefruit, apple, cucumber, sandalwood, and amber. Go for classic romance with your man and make reservations at your favorite romantic restaurant. But don't be offended if he seems distracted—your dinner won't be the only delicious thing at the table.

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What's sex addiction - theoretically?

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Tuesday, March 30, 2010 at 7:28 PM Labels: ,



A psychological disorder?
Psychiatrists are examining what is commonly referred to as sex addiction, a controversial and often misunderstood condition that has most recently garnered news media attention because of the travails of golfer Tiger Woods. Sex addiction is not recognised by any official diagnosis in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), considered the definitive word on psychological disorders, reports the Courier Mail.



Hypersexual disorder
However, the term 'hypersexual disorder' is being proposed for the fifth edition of DSM, due out in 2012. The proposal is being put forward by Dr Martin Kafka, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, in the US, who says the disorder has been neglected for years. He says it causes everything from marital dysfunction and divorce to increased risk of unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.



The symptoms
To be diagnosed with the disorder a patient would have to meet four of the following five criteria: 1) Spending a ‘great deal of time’ consumed by sexual fantasies and urges. 2) Using sexual behaviour to deal with stressful life events (or anxiety, depression, boredom or irritability). 3) Disregarding the "physical and emotional harm" to those involved. 4) Patients must have tried but failed to curb the behaviour. 5) Patients must have suffered distress and harm to their everyday life.



Questions remain...
However, the controversial proposal has critics worrying that the criteria are too vague, and the chances for misdiagnosis and bogus pharmaceutical treatment are too great. Dr Paul Fedoroff, director of the Sexual Behaviours Clinic at the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre, is a critic of Kafka's hypersexuality criteria. He questions whether sex in response to stress is unhealthy, and what is meant by ‘a great deal of time’ consumed by sexual fantasies.



The debate continues
But Dr Dan Zucker, of the University of Toronto, who heads a working group dealing with the next edition of DSM, expects ‘hypersexuality disorder’ to be listed. He admits the proposal is controversial but says the issue is about where to draw the line on what is normal, and what is not.

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How To Get Her To Have Dirty Sex

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , Monday, March 29, 2010 at 4:47 AM Labels:

Tell her about your fantasies

If you get the feeling that she’ll be receptive to taking a darker turn in your sex life together, take the first step by revealing some of your secret fantasies. Dole out a little at a time and see how she reacts. Hopefully, she’ll share some of her inner thoughts in return; when she does, make sure you show plenty of enthusiasm for her ideas if you want to get her to have dirty sex. An important thing to keep in mind when having this sharing session is to keep it in the realm of fantasy. Don’t start telling her about dirty sex you’ve had in the past with other women or your whole plot will come to a screeching halt.

Make it new for both of you

Approach the dirty experimentation like it’s new for both of you. Think of something you’ve never tried before and suggest that you try it together. If she knows you’re starting out on a level playing field, she’ll be more likely to let her inhibitions go and get wild with you. If you want to get her to have dirty sex with you and you act like you’re an expert in the area, chances are she’s going to freeze up on you instead of enjoying herself.

Play a sex game

So you’re both open to the idea of getting dirtier in bed together. Now, how do you get started? Talking about it is a lot easier than actually introducing the nastiness into your sex life. A sex game might be just the thing to help you get started. Visit a sex shop and check out the card and board games they have for sale. These are usually aimed at couples that want to add some excitement to their love life and they should give you some ideas. Or, use your imagination and make up your own game together at home. The idea is to get both of you to open up and start trying things out. If all else fails, you can always fall back on the old standard of Truth or Dare.

Watch porn or read erotic stories

Get each other in the mood by watching porn stars get it on or by reading some stimulating erotic fiction. Even if she’s not normally into watching porn, when you’re trying to get dirty with each other, she may be open to incorporating a video or two. Erotic writing of a less-than-professional caliber can be found all over the internet, but there are also quality sexy stories available from people with actual skill. Take a trip to the bookstore together and pick out something that looks promising.

Initiate

You are probably going to have to be the one to make the first move if you want to get a little nastier in the bedroom. Even if you’ve piqued her interest, she’s still not likely to start things off herself. Start talking dirty, set the mood and hopefully she’ll follow your lead.

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Fear of Sex Indoors And Other Sexual Phobias

Posted by Ravinder Bisht , at 4:30 AM Labels:

Fear of Sex Indoors And Other Sexual Phobias

Most of us have either had or fantasized about outdoor sex, but for Danielle Vincely, it's the only type of sex she really knows. The 24 year old reportedly has a phobia of doing the deed indoors, saying that the experience chokes her up and gives her near-panic attacks. After trying anti-depressants, Danielle decided that she would rather have sex where she likes it—on park benches and hoods of cars—than become dependent on drugs.

Sex may be a completely natural, enjoyable part of life, but we we all know that it can be stressful enough without being hampered by a phobia. As it turns out, there are a slew of irrational fears about sex, which include:

Ithyphallophobia is the fear of seeing, having, or thinking about *****ions. This phobia, which affects both men and women, is also called medorthophobia and phallophobia.

Medomalacuphobia, on the other hand, is the fear of losing an *****ion. Granted, plenty of men feel nervous about going limp, but only those whose lives are crippled by the phobia are diagnosed with the actual anxiety disorder. Male Take: When He Can't Get An *****ion

Gymnophobia is the irrational fear of nudity. Again, don't confuse this with body-consciousness or excessive modesty. Gymnophobiacs actively fear being seen naked, seeing someone else naked, or both. Sexual Anorexia: The Opposite Of Sex Addiction?

Menophobia is the fear of menstruation. We won't lie, the ordeal is a little scary when you really think about it.

Anuptaphobia is the fear of staying single.

Heterophobia, also called sexophobia, is fear of the opposite sex. We think this would be even harder to cope with than the *****ion phobia.

Erotophobia, which is supposedly the most common form of sexual phobia, is the fear of all things sex, be it sexual love, sexual questions, or sexual knoweldge.

Eurotophobia, or kolopophobia, is the fear of female genitalia. Eurotophobia manifests itself differently from person to person; some feel repulsed just thinking about female sex organs, while others react only when stimulated.

Parthenophobia is the irrational fear of virgins and young females.

Tocophobia is the fear of pregnancy and childbirth.

Oneirogmophobia is the fear of wet dreams.

Finally, coitophobia is the fear of intercourse itself.

No matter how strange they sound, many sex phobias arise from distressingly common situations. Molestation, a bad relationship, or a traumatic first encounter can all trigger scores of debilitating anxieties. Other times, these phobias don't have a particular trigger—to sufferers, it seems that they inexplicably develop over time. Thankfully, there are plenty of resources and sex therapists equipped to help those who want to get past their phobias to enjoy (comparatively) stress-free sex lives.

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