What's sex addiction - theoretically?



A psychological disorder?
Psychiatrists are examining what is commonly referred to as sex addiction, a controversial and often misunderstood condition that has most recently garnered news media attention because of the travails of golfer Tiger Woods. Sex addiction is not recognised by any official diagnosis in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), considered the definitive word on psychological disorders, reports the Courier Mail.



Hypersexual disorder
However, the term 'hypersexual disorder' is being proposed for the fifth edition of DSM, due out in 2012. The proposal is being put forward by Dr Martin Kafka, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, in the US, who says the disorder has been neglected for years. He says it causes everything from marital dysfunction and divorce to increased risk of unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.



The symptoms
To be diagnosed with the disorder a patient would have to meet four of the following five criteria: 1) Spending a ‘great deal of time’ consumed by sexual fantasies and urges. 2) Using sexual behaviour to deal with stressful life events (or anxiety, depression, boredom or irritability). 3) Disregarding the "physical and emotional harm" to those involved. 4) Patients must have tried but failed to curb the behaviour. 5) Patients must have suffered distress and harm to their everyday life.



Questions remain...
However, the controversial proposal has critics worrying that the criteria are too vague, and the chances for misdiagnosis and bogus pharmaceutical treatment are too great. Dr Paul Fedoroff, director of the Sexual Behaviours Clinic at the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre, is a critic of Kafka's hypersexuality criteria. He questions whether sex in response to stress is unhealthy, and what is meant by ‘a great deal of time’ consumed by sexual fantasies.



The debate continues
But Dr Dan Zucker, of the University of Toronto, who heads a working group dealing with the next edition of DSM, expects ‘hypersexuality disorder’ to be listed. He admits the proposal is controversial but says the issue is about where to draw the line on what is normal, and what is not.

How To Get Her To Have Dirty Sex

Tell her about your fantasies

If you get the feeling that she’ll be receptive to taking a darker turn in your sex life together, take the first step by revealing some of your secret fantasies. Dole out a little at a time and see how she reacts. Hopefully, she’ll share some of her inner thoughts in return; when she does, make sure you show plenty of enthusiasm for her ideas if you want to get her to have dirty sex. An important thing to keep in mind when having this sharing session is to keep it in the realm of fantasy. Don’t start telling her about dirty sex you’ve had in the past with other women or your whole plot will come to a screeching halt.

Make it new for both of you

Approach the dirty experimentation like it’s new for both of you. Think of something you’ve never tried before and suggest that you try it together. If she knows you’re starting out on a level playing field, she’ll be more likely to let her inhibitions go and get wild with you. If you want to get her to have dirty sex with you and you act like you’re an expert in the area, chances are she’s going to freeze up on you instead of enjoying herself.

Play a sex game

So you’re both open to the idea of getting dirtier in bed together. Now, how do you get started? Talking about it is a lot easier than actually introducing the nastiness into your sex life. A sex game might be just the thing to help you get started. Visit a sex shop and check out the card and board games they have for sale. These are usually aimed at couples that want to add some excitement to their love life and they should give you some ideas. Or, use your imagination and make up your own game together at home. The idea is to get both of you to open up and start trying things out. If all else fails, you can always fall back on the old standard of Truth or Dare.

Watch porn or read erotic stories

Get each other in the mood by watching porn stars get it on or by reading some stimulating erotic fiction. Even if she’s not normally into watching porn, when you’re trying to get dirty with each other, she may be open to incorporating a video or two. Erotic writing of a less-than-professional caliber can be found all over the internet, but there are also quality sexy stories available from people with actual skill. Take a trip to the bookstore together and pick out something that looks promising.

Initiate

You are probably going to have to be the one to make the first move if you want to get a little nastier in the bedroom. Even if you’ve piqued her interest, she’s still not likely to start things off herself. Start talking dirty, set the mood and hopefully she’ll follow your lead.

Fear of Sex Indoors And Other Sexual Phobias

Fear of Sex Indoors And Other Sexual Phobias

Most of us have either had or fantasized about outdoor sex, but for Danielle Vincely, it's the only type of sex she really knows. The 24 year old reportedly has a phobia of doing the deed indoors, saying that the experience chokes her up and gives her near-panic attacks. After trying anti-depressants, Danielle decided that she would rather have sex where she likes it—on park benches and hoods of cars—than become dependent on drugs.

Sex may be a completely natural, enjoyable part of life, but we we all know that it can be stressful enough without being hampered by a phobia. As it turns out, there are a slew of irrational fears about sex, which include:

Ithyphallophobia is the fear of seeing, having, or thinking about *****ions. This phobia, which affects both men and women, is also called medorthophobia and phallophobia.

Medomalacuphobia, on the other hand, is the fear of losing an *****ion. Granted, plenty of men feel nervous about going limp, but only those whose lives are crippled by the phobia are diagnosed with the actual anxiety disorder. Male Take: When He Can't Get An *****ion

Gymnophobia is the irrational fear of nudity. Again, don't confuse this with body-consciousness or excessive modesty. Gymnophobiacs actively fear being seen naked, seeing someone else naked, or both. Sexual Anorexia: The Opposite Of Sex Addiction?

Menophobia is the fear of menstruation. We won't lie, the ordeal is a little scary when you really think about it.

Anuptaphobia is the fear of staying single.

Heterophobia, also called sexophobia, is fear of the opposite sex. We think this would be even harder to cope with than the *****ion phobia.

Erotophobia, which is supposedly the most common form of sexual phobia, is the fear of all things sex, be it sexual love, sexual questions, or sexual knoweldge.

Eurotophobia, or kolopophobia, is the fear of female genitalia. Eurotophobia manifests itself differently from person to person; some feel repulsed just thinking about female sex organs, while others react only when stimulated.

Parthenophobia is the irrational fear of virgins and young females.

Tocophobia is the fear of pregnancy and childbirth.

Oneirogmophobia is the fear of wet dreams.

Finally, coitophobia is the fear of intercourse itself.

No matter how strange they sound, many sex phobias arise from distressingly common situations. Molestation, a bad relationship, or a traumatic first encounter can all trigger scores of debilitating anxieties. Other times, these phobias don't have a particular trigger—to sufferers, it seems that they inexplicably develop over time. Thankfully, there are plenty of resources and sex therapists equipped to help those who want to get past their phobias to enjoy (comparatively) stress-free sex lives.

What is Female Ejaculation?

Female Ejaculations

Are there female ejaculations?

Female ejaculation is a release of fluid from the external genitalia associated with sexual activity. Some say this fluid must be released under pressure, while others say it must be associated with the woman's orgasm. Whatever the definition used, female ejaculations are hard to find.

What Women Experience

There is very little research on this phenomenon. Not surprisingly, the more stringent the definition, the fewer the number of women who can be found to have experienced it. In one study, women were stimulated where the supposed G-spot is (on the vaginal wall closest to the stomach) and asked, immediately afterwards, if they experienced a spurt of fluid at orgasm. Only 6% said they did at the time. A total of 13% said they ever had. However, the existence of the G-spot itself is controversial, which consequently makes this view questionable, too.

If one loosens the definition to be a spurt of fluid at orgasm, without specifying stimulation of the alleged G-spot be involved, more women say "yes." However, these numbers may be inflated as these studies also differed by surveying women, instead of testing them directly. In other words, the researchers asked the women to remember their experiences throughout life, rather than having them have sex and report back to the researchers right away. The results of the two studies known varied greatly. One study reported only "a handful" of women experienced ejaculations, while another study showed 39.5% experienced the same. The exact words used in questioning the women may account for the differences. Yet another survey found about 40% of women said 'yes' when a release (as opposed to a spurt) of fluid at orgasm was the criteria.

What is it and where does it come from?

There is also controversy regarding the anatomical structures and the type of fluid that is expelled. Some investigators believe that the fluid originates from structures called the Skene's glands, which exits through the urethra (where urine comes out). Still others believe that the fluid comes from the bladder, and is, in fact urine. An alternate term is orgastic urination. Essentially, this is stress urinary incontinence due to orgasm.

On the other hand, some believe that the fluid is vaginal in origin. It is theorized when the vagina becomes narrowed from engorgement with blood during sexual excitement and then spasms due to orgasm, that this creates enough pressure to eject vaginal fluid.

What does it all mean?

Few women experience a phenomenon that closely resembles male ejaculation, although many report some kind of fluid release. What it is and where it comes from and why (or even if) women do it is still uncertain. If you think you experience it, you are not abnormal. And if you don't, you are not abnormal, either!

Sex Diseases Soaring Due To Facebook Romps



CASES of syphilis have increased four-fold in Britain's Facebook capital as users meet up for unprotected sex, it was revealed yesterday.

Figures released last month showed that people in Sunderland, Durham and Teesside were 25 per cent more likely to log on regularly.

And an NHS trust chief said Facebook and similar sites were to blame for a shocking rise in cases of potentially-lethal syphilis in the region.

Professor Peter Kelly, director of Public Health for NHS Tees, said: "There has been a four-fold increase in the number of syphilis cases detected, with more young women being affected."

He said staff had found a link to social networking sites among those infected.

Prof Kelly said: "I don't get the names of people affected, just figures. And I saw that several of the people had met sexual partners through these sites.

"Social networking sites are making it easier for people to meet up for casual sex. There is a rise in syphilis because people are having more sexual partners than 20 years ago and often do not use condoms."

Syphilis cases in Britain fell due to the widespread use of condoms in the 1980s and '90s. It can cause serious heart, respiratory tract and central nervous system damage. But Health Protection Agency figures revealed there were 4,000 cases nationwide last year.



The highest rates are in women aged 20 to 24 and men aged 25 to 34.

In Teesside there were 30 cases last year - but the true figure is likely to be higher.

An official statement said: "NHS Tees is warning people about the dangers of syphilis following a rise in cases of the devastating disease."

Prof Kelly added: "There is a possibility that there is a pool of people who have been infected and that these cases are linked. We don't know where the outbreak originated but it is on the rise."

Studies have shown that adults are more likely to indulge in risky sexual behaviour with partners they meet on the internet.

A spokesperson for Facebook said "The assertions made in reports that Facebook is responsible for the transmission of syphilis are ridiculous. As Facebook's more than 400 million users know, our Web site is not a place to meet people for casual sex - it's a place for friends, family and co-workers to connect and share."

How many times women think about sex?

Want to know what women really think about sex? How kinky they’re willing to get? What’s most likely to get them off? How long they want you to last? We’re here to help.

How many times a day do you think about sex?
A) I don’t think about sex every day. - 4.2%
B) 1 - 4.4%
C) 2–5 - 38.2%
D) 6–10 - 26.8%
E) 11–20 - 15.4%
F) 21–30 - 6.9%
G) 30+ - 4.0%

How often do you view porn?
A) Never - 29.0%
B) Once or twice per month - 40.2%
C) About once per week - 15.3%
D) Several times per week - 12.3%
E) Daily - 1.8%
F) Multiple times per day - 1.4%
MEN SAID: D - (40.4%)

How many sex partners have you had?
A) 0 - 3.2%
B) 1–5 - 46.7%
C) 6–10 - 19.8%
D) 11–15 - 11%
E) 16–20 - 6.1%

What is the most sex partners you’ve had in one day?
A) 1 - 69.3%
B) 2 - 24.9%
C) 3 - 4.2%
D) Over 3 - 1.5%

How about in one week?
A) 1 - 47.3%
B) 2 - 35.8%
C) 3 - 12.0%
D) Over 3 - 4.9%

Have you ever had sex with a guy whose name you didn’t know?
A) Yes - 17.3%
B) No - 82.7%

What’s the quickest you’ve slept with a guy after meeting him?
A) Less than one hour - 6.8%
B) 1–5 hours - 25.6%
C) Less than one day - 10.2%
D) 1–5 days - 10.4%
E) 1 week - 8.8%
F) 1 month - 20%
G) Over 1 month - 18.2%

Which of these gifts would you be most excited to receive?
A) Great oral sex - 58.3%
B) Designer high heels - 24.2%
C) A puppy - 17.5%

What percentage of your sexual encounters have occurred while you were drunk or on drugs?
A) 1% - 18.9%
B) 1–10% - 36%
C) 11–25% - 18.2%
D) 26–50% - 13.7%
E) 51–75% - 8.3%
F) 76–99% - 4.0%
G) 100% - 0.8%

Principal sexually exploiting students, teachers for 28 years

MUMBAI The sex scandal that rocked Shivam Vidya Mandir in Saki Naka has opened a can of worms for the principal and founder member of the school.

It has now emerged that Shankar Babulal Srivastava (53), who was suspended for sexually harassing the headmistress of the school's primary section inside his office during school hours on Saturday, had been involved in similar activities for the past 28 years.
Insiders have now revealed that Srivastava had been physically and mentally abusing teachers and students of the school since its inception in 1981.

The matter came to light yesterday after a sting operation by news channel TV9 showed Srivastava sexually abusing the headmistress in his glass cabin.

The victim Anita Sharma (39) (name changed) told MiD DAY, "For the past 12 years, he harassed me both sexually and mentally.

He threatened to fire me if I spoke about it. I kept mum to save my job. He has ruined my career; I'm innocent."

Staff Terrified

The school staff was aware of Srivastava's actions, but chose to keep mum fearing they might lose their jobs.

A male teacher, requesting anonymity, said, "Srivastava would harass teachers during school hours. Peons and other school staff have seen him misbehaving."

Added a former teacher Pramila Seth (name changed), "He also took advantage of me and when I started objecting, he dismissed me."

Around 70 teachers, including 40 females, work in the school and they are all terrified of Srivastava. "Those who raised voices against him were issued memos.

Both parents and teachers were aware that Srivastava would harass teachers and students, but none took any action because of the fear of being thrown out," said a school staff member.

The school's management, which is headed by one Laita Shetty and family members of Srivastava, were hand in glove with him.

"Now, that the matter is out in the open, the management has warned us against uttering a word to the cops against the principal," said another staff member.

While Srivastava is absconding, an FIR has been lodged against him at the Saki Naka police station.

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